Huh! This feels different! It feels so peaceful, so
comfortable. How could this be? I begin to feel and listen to my surroundings.
Surely, I am not lying on the ground with only a thin sheet of water resistant
blanket between me and the hardened soil. I do not feel the mountain breeze
that relentlessly sweeps my face all night, almost every night. I don’t hear
the nocturnal howl of animals mating in the distance or the riotous chorus of
crickets that have already become music to my ears. It feels so quiet, so
tranquil, and so bizarre. But why do I feel so disturbed? It feels so eerie and
disquieting.
Where am I?
I could not even open my eyes.
I feel a blinding light shutting me out. Oh wait! Why is it so bright? It must
be night time as I just woke up. It could not be dawn yet because I do not hear
the usual clatter of pans and pots or someone fixing the fire to brew the
morning coffee. I hope no was playing
pranks on me with their flashlights. But flashlights are not this bright. This
one is just way too bright.
This feels so unsettling. I
have to open my eyes. But I need someone to remove this bright light in front
of me. I groped for my back pack. It was not there! Alarmed, my hand went
straight for my gun. It was not there! What the hell! Where am I and where are
my things? My eyes fluttered open in terror and panic as I hastily got out of
bed.
I was shocked! Stupefied!
Confused!
I am in a room. I just knew it
is a room. But there are no walls. I don’t even see the floors but I just know
there are floors. And the light – where is it coming from? It is just so bright,
but I do not see any sun. Not even any electric bulbs or lamps or flash lights.
Panic gripped my core as I frantically turned around looking for any exit – or anything
or anyone to tell me where I am. I felt the knots in my midsection as it
recoiled in terror.
The knot – the pain – in my
midsection! Pain! Pain! I remember feeling it! My chest! My chest was bleeding!
But where is my wound? It is not there! And there is no more pain.
It was dark. I was with other
people. They were with me. We were comrades. We were blood brothers. I could
hear my breathing as we zigzagged along the unpaved mountain tracks of the
Cordilleras, feeling the weight of our bags in our backs and the guns strapped to
our shoulders. Then boom! And there was panic! There was shouting! There was
running! There were gun shots; there were bombs; more shouting and more running
and then the pain, in my chest – and someone dragging me. I can feel my feet
scraping the ground and the grass whipping my torso. But the pain? It's real! And I feel it to the bottom of my soul.
Then silence, peace, calmness, and this light,
this bed, this room with no walls and no floors. Please tell me, this is not
where I think I am. # (5 September 2014)
